Pompeii
by SammyPink
Summary: Solangelo AU in which after his sister's death, Nico is being adopted by a nice family and so on and so on...
1. I was left, to my own devices

It was a cold winter evening in Buckleton's Home for orphans and troubled kids.

Outside snow was covering the streets and it was getting dark earls, so that the slightly orange streetlights were reflected by the glistening ground under them.

Nico di Angelo loved to look out the window when it was snowing. He thought it was the most beautiful thing, he could think of.

But to be sure of that, he planned on traveling around the world with his sister Bianca and their friends Jason and Percy.

As soon as they were old enough, they would just visit whatever place their finger would point to, when the globe stopped to rotate.

Nico couldn't even imagine the places they would go to and the things they would experience.

He and Bianca agreed, that first of all they would visit the country their mother came from. It felt strange, that even if he spoke the language fluent, Nico had no memories of the place, his sister so often called home.

Nico thought about how they would live in a house, together with Jason and Percy. With a big garden, so Bianca and Jason would be able to play as much soccer, as they wanted to. And with a pool, so Percy could go swim, even if it was raining outside. And of course on a mountain, so in the evening, after playing soccer and swimming all day, they could sit on the roof, with each of them drinking hot chocolate, and looking down at all the lights of the city beneath them, lighting up the world.

That was the future, ten year old Nico was planning to have with the three most important people in his life.

He was so busy, thinking about how many rooms they would need (Jason's and Percy's girlfriends, Piper and Annabeth would also need one), that he didn't instantly feel the unusual warmth, radiating from the floor. That was until the door opened and Jason appeared in Nico's bedroom.

He turned away from the window he was looking outside from, and together with the pure look of horror, in Jason's sky blue eyes, saw the smoke erupting along the ceiling and nearly filling the room before Jason even had the chance to say anything.

"Nico, there's a huge fire. We need to get out of here!."

Nico hesitated for a moment.

"Where's Bianca?", he asked. There was no way he was going to leave the building without her.

"Percy went for her. Now, let's get out f here. I don't know how long we will be able to breath in here."

Nico quickly grabbed his sister's aviator jacket and quickly ran out of the building.

He wasn't nearly as fast as Jason, so he was falling behind more and more by the second.

So once the flames were getting higher, Jason immediately reached for Nico's hand and held it tight, like he was afraid to lose Nico in the building, if his grip wasn't strong enough.

Eventually they made it out of the building. They were standing on the snow covered street, as Nico looked around to find his sister. Jason would've lost the grip of Nico's hand long ago, if it wasn't for Nico to hold on to him, as if his life depended on it.

There were firemen all over the place, while the children were gathered around Miss Dorothea, the director of the institution.

Nico looked at every single one, of the 17 children standing outside the burning building. But he couldn't seem to find either Percy or Bianca. He wanted to ask Miss Dorothea, when he hurt something crackle behind him.

The building was starting to fall apart. There were flames coming out of the windows, melting the falling snow and turning the dark sky, into an violent orange.

Nico's heart was beating slowly. His breathing was steady and his hands weren't shaking. Everything was alright, because even if his home was currently burning down, Percy would bring him his sister any moment, and she would tell him just that; That everything was going to be alright.

That was when something shot it's claw through Nico's chest and just ripped his heart out of him.

That was when he saw a fireman carrying an unconscious Percy Jackson out on the street, and there was no other one, carrying Bianca.

In that moment, every sound around Nico disappeared into the background and the whole world seemed to collapse.

He didn't know exactly what happened from there on. Strong arms wrapped around his torso, as he felt himself scream. He didn't hear a thing, but it felt like he was screaming out his soul.

Hot liquid was burning down his cheeks, but he wasn't sure if that were his tears or the snow, melted by the fire. He wanted to get out of Jason's grip and run into the building to go and find Bianca. But the grip around his thin body only tightened, as someone grabbed Nico's wrists to stop him from beating around.

He felt something pierce into his arm, as everything slowly started to become darker and darker, until Nico completely drowned in the shadows around him.

It was five moths after the fire in Buckleton's Home, that Nico found himself at a table, facing a couple in their early twenties.

The woman, Callie, had curly blond hair, that wasn't entirely covering her ears, and was held back with a red bandanna. Her eyes were hazel and friendly and seemed to always be smiling.

Her husband, Kevin Nico thought, had messy light brown hair, that seemed to do whatever it wanted, no matter what Kevin did to keep it in place. His eyes were sky blue. They reminded Nico of Jason's. Just that unless Jason's, Kevin's eyes had a certain calm, that seemed to go deep, into his very being, no matter how nervous he obviously was about this meeting.

Apart from his hair and eyes, he looked like a smart person. Someone who would solve a crossword puzzle with a pen and accidentally bite into his fork because he was too focused on his book, to realize that there was no food on it.

"So...", Callie started. "We signed the papers today, are you ready to come with us, Nico?", she asked.

Nico didn't react. Was he? Was he really ready to try and be a part of a family, full of strangers, when he had just lost his own. He wanted to shake his head, but he did not want to see or make these people disappointed in him. He didn't want to cause them trouble, as he had done to doctors and social workers, the past five months. So he just stared at Callie. Her gaze was filled with understanding, Nico thought. Sure she was hoping for a reaction, but she didn't pressure Nico into anything. Not that he could turn back from that now. As she had said, the papers were signed.

So he nodded and looked at the ground.

Out of the corner of his eyes he could see Callie smile. It was a sad smile, like she was hoping for something better. Like Bianca had done.

"Great Buddy.", Kevin said and got up. "Let's get your things together. There is someone at home, waiting for you."


	2. many days fell away

Just to make that clear, since Bianca died in December, and Nico was born in January, Nico's 11 when he's being adopted.

Also please forgive me my writing, English isn't my first language.

* * *

The Solace', that was Callie and Kevin's last name, apparently, lived in a small house in a suburb. It was plain white from the outside, apart from a bright, smiling sun, painted over the wall.

"That was painted by our son. When he was seven, he decided that our house looked _boring_ and stole my acrylic paint to make it more friendly." Callie hesitated for a moment and looked at the smiley-sun, a rather disturbed look crossing her face. "Don't tell him, but I think it's rather looking creepy than friendly."

At that Nico had to smile. He had known about Callie and Kevin having a son. But Nico never quite got the name of said boy. He only remembered Callie once telling him, that he was a year and a half older than him.

Callie seemed a little surprised by that reaction, but covered it up quickly, and replaced it with a small smile herself.

"You can also paint something on the wall, if you want to.", she said.

Now it was Nico's turn to be surprised. He definitely did not suspect them offering him to paint something on their wall. It was still a mystery to him, why they took him in the first place. He didn't want to bother them more than was absolutely necessary. Nico felt like a burden, being handed to them, because he had to be put into some place.

Before he could even question why Callie would offer him such a thing, Nico caught himself wondering about what he would paint, if he actually wanted to. Which he irrationally did.

No, he could not do that. He could not intrude into their lives like that. And even more important; He could not get attached to them. Not after what happened, not when he knew what would happen if he did.

So Nico just kept walking behind Callie, as Kevin opened the door and held it open for them to walk into the house.

He was nervous. What if their son didn't like Nico? What if they found out about what horrible things Nico was able to? What if he would start to like the family and there would be another fire?

Nico didn't know what to do. Maybe he should run, before he had the chance to ruin their lives as well.

"Mom, Dad? Are you back? Have you brought him home?", he heard an excited voice, shout from afar, as someone ran down the stairs.

Nico's hold tightened around the handle of his backpack. The door was still open. He still had the chance to run.

But before he could finish that thought, Nico was staring into the most addictive eyes, he had ever seen. In front of him was standing... it. He wasn't sure what it exactly was, but he knew, that the boy with the messy blond hair and lopsided smile, was just that. It.

"Hi, I'm William Solace. Or just William. Wait. No. I mean Will. You can call me Will." The boy, Will, was almost tripping over his own words, as he held out his hand in front of him.

Nico looked at him for a moment – His hair looked as if he had run his hand through it a million times, he looked kinda... nervous – before he held out his own hand and shook Will's.

"N-nice to meet you.", Nico said, trying to over sound his own heart beating. "I'm...-"

"-Nico. I know. Mom and Dad have told me so much about you. I'm so happy to finally meet you." The words came just flying out of his mouth, as if he had prepared something to say in front of his mirror, a thousand times, but then forgot everything and started babbling nervously instead. "Let me show you your room.", Will said, as he took Nico's other hand and pulled him upstairs, were he assumed, his room would be.

There were some paintings and two or three pictures of the Solaces hanging on the walls. The house looked... comfy. It wasn't one of these houses, that were filled with family pictures and flowers, just to shove into other people's faces, what a happy family they were.

The Solaces were different from all the people that came to talk to Nico, because they thought about adopting him, and then never came back. They were... real.

Nico felt himself smile. He really liked that about them.

No. He didn't. He's been in their house for like a minute. He couldn't start to like these people already. That wasn't going to end well.

Will had stopped in front of a closed door. He let Nico's hand go, which made him feel a little disappointed, and opened the door.

There was standing a giant bed in the middle of the room, covered in black sheets with skulls and little ghosts printed on it. Nico remembered the day he and Callie had talked about that. They had just joked about the sheets, but he felt a warm feeling rising inside his chest, as he was looking at the furniture now.

There has also been a desk, a chair and a closet.

"The best thing about your room is definitely the chair.", Will said excited as he led himself plumb down onto it and started to spin around. After two or three spins, he stopped. A big smile was covering his face.

"Come on, you have to try it out, too."

Nico was standing near enough to the chair, for Will to just grab his hand and pull him onto his lap.

Nico just froze from the sudden contact and nearly fell from Will's legs, as he began to spin around again. When he finally stopped to gain speed with his feet, the two boys stared at each other, for a solid minute. While Will was smiling brightly and obviously enjoying all of this, Nico was utterly horrified. So as soon the chair completely stopped moving, he jumped away from Will, got out of the room, and ran as fast as he could, to where he thought Will had said the bathroom was.


	3. with nothing to show

Three hours, nineteen minutes and forty-eight seconds has it been, since Nico had run from Will and locked himself in the bathroom. It's been quite obvious to Will, that he had done something, that made Nico feel uncomfortable.

 _Great_ , he thought while sitting on the floor in front of the locked bathroom, _you get a new family member and the first thing you do is to nearly scare him to death. Good job Will._

He knew, he should have been more carefully about his actions. Will was a very touchy person, and well, many other people... were not.

His parents had told him about the fire last December, and that he had lost his sister in it. Will didn't have any other siblings, or at least he didn't know about them, since he didn't know who his real father was.

The point was, that Nico had been through a lot, and Will didn't want to pressure him into anything he could not want.

Will's Mom had married Kevin when Will was six. He remembered how he'd been shouting out of his lungs that he didn't want another Dad and that he hated her for forcing him into a family he didn't want. Of course Kevin had noticed Will's not so little outburst. And from that on, he had started to try anything, to get Will's trust.

Looking back, Will really appreciated his efforts. Kevin had tried to make Will comfortable. He even wanted to postpone the date of the wedding, until he was sure the two of them would get along with each other.

Will remembered how comfortable he started to feel around Kevin after some time. He never pushed him into anything. It wasn't like he was trying to make him fit into an already formed family. What made him earn Will's trust in the end, was that he had given him the feeling of actually being a part of the family. Like he actually mattered in all of this.

Will looked at his watch. Three hours, twenty-four minutes and seventeen seconds.

In all this time, Will hadn't heard Nico once.

The only talking, that had happened, was Will, letting Nico know that he was outside the bathroom.

Yes, he knew he shouldn't try to push Nico to anything. Well, at least he knew _now_. But what Will did, wasn't quite pushing.

After what his parents had told him about Nico, Will knew that he had some things going on. And there was no way someone would get over something horrible, like loosing a sibling, alone. They did not have to become best friends, instantly. But Will wanted Nico to know, they were a family now, and that meant, that he'd be there. Even in the darker moments.

"Nico?", Will asked carefully.

Nothing.

"Look, I know that you are in there. You don't have to say anything, please just... knock at the door or something if you're still alive."

A knock.

Will let out his breath in relieve. So Nico was ready to listen to him.

"Nico, I'm sorry for grabbing you like that. I shouldn't have done that. I should have respected your personal space and stayed away from you, until you gave me permission to touch you. I'm just really sorry that I made you feel uncomfortable and totally understand if you don't want to have anything to do with me."

He stopped for a moment, to wait for an answer, from the other side of the door.

Against his expectations, he heard a ruffle, as if someone was moving. Hope was making it's way to his chest.

"Just... feel welcome if you ever want to talk about something. Or if you need help or something. You know were my room is."

And with that, Will stood up and walked into his room. Sooner or later, Nico would come to him by himself. He just had to wait until he was ready.

* * *

" _No._ "

 _Nico was running through the house. Everything was covered in smoke. He felt the hot air pour inside his lungs. Like acid, slowly taking him apart, bit by bit._

 _But it all didn't matter. Not the pain, nor the high flames surrounding him. He needed to find Bianca._

 _She was in the common room, Nico knew that now. He was looking for the stairs, leading to the floor above. But the corridor seemed to just stretch itself, with every step he made._

" _Bianca!", he screamed from the top of his lungs. "Where are you?", he wanted to shout, but the ashes, making their way down his throat, made him cough in pain._

 _He could hear Michael's voice, following his every movement._

" _It was you fault."_

" _You're soul is as dark, as the death you bring."_

" _Everyone you love is going to end like this. And it's all your fault."_

 _There was something. A sound. A crack._

 _Nico looked above him. The ceiling was starting to fall apart. The flames had eaten their way through the wood, and the first fragments started to fall down._

 _Pure panic was starting to make it's way through Nico's veins. He wanted to run faster, but his legs seemed to get heavier by every step. Like he was walking through a swamp, and the dirty water was trying to drown him._

 _He looked up once more. Now there weren't just a few fragment falling from the ceiling. The whole house seemed to crack._

 _He took a deep breath to scream to his sister once more. But the sound was muffled by the building, falling down on him._

Nico woke up, sweating. His heart was beating at a pace, that couldn't have been healthy. But that didn't matter. Nothing mattered. He had lost Bianca, again. He hadn't saved her, again.

Nico felt hot tears streaming down his face, to his neck. He pulled his legs to his chest and hugged his knees.

He hated waking up like this. Sobbing and feeling guilty.

That was when he realized where he was. He was in his new bed, in his room, at the Solace'. This place felt so knew and unwelcoming. He needed to get out of here. If he started to freak out now, he would soon get a panic attack. And he did not want to let that happen in the first night, in his new home.

Nico looked around himself. He hadn't had time to set u anything during the day. So there wasn't really anything in his room, that would help him distract himself.

Stupid, he could have set up at least _something_. But no, he had been to busy hiding in the bathroom.

 _The bathroom._

That was when he remembered how freaked out he had been earlier that day. He felt like everything was going down the hill, before anything really happened. But then Will had spoken to him with this gentle voice.

Nico remembered Callie also using that voice on him, whenever Nico backed away from her. The first time he had heard that voice, had been the first time Callie had tried to touch Nico. He had jumped away from her hand, almost immediately. She had just tried to brush a strand of hair, out of his face. But of course, Nico had to panic at the innocent action.

He hated that. It was getting better. Meanwhile Nico even let other people come near him, or even touch his arms and shoulders. But he was freaking out about the tiniest things, that went over that. Which was pathetic, but still left him no space to breath.

 _Will_ , Nico thought.

No, he could not just wake him up in the middle of the night, and annoy him with his panic attack.

Nico felt his breath gaining speed, until it turned into desperate gasping for air. His hands were trembling and he tried to roll himself together, to a ball. But the trembling and shaking did not stop.

Flames. Slowly surrounding him, like snakes hunting down their prey.

The room was getting hot, and the air was getting thin. It was getting harder to breath by the second.

All the people staring blankly at him, as if Nico had lost his mind.

"Why is no one helping her? Why is no one going in to find Bianca?", he heard himself shout, until he only whispered the words because the anesthetic started to work on him.

Suddenly Nico felt something approach to him, Jason had tried to make it go away, by soothingly holding Nico night after night. But it always returned as soon as Nico couldn't bear it anymore. So he did the one thing, he had sworn himself, he would never do again. He screamed out in pain.


	4. And the walls kept tumbling down

Nico woke up, sweating. His heart was beating at a pace, that couldn't have been healthy. But that didn't matter. Nothing mattered. He had lost Bianca, again. He hadn't saved her, again.

Nico felt hot tears streaming down his face, to his neck. He pulled his legs to his chest and hugged his knees.

He hated waking up like this. Sobbing and feeling guilty.

That was when he realized where he was. He was in his new bed, in his room, at the Solace'. This place felt so knew and unwelcoming. He needed to get out of here. If he started to freak out now, he would soon get a panic attack. And he did not want to let that happen in the first night, in his new home.

Nico looked around himself. He hadn't had time to set u anything during the day. So there wasn't really anything in his room, that would help him distract himself.

Stupid, he could have set up at least _something_. But no, he had been to busy hiding in the bathroom.

 _The bathroom._

That was when he remembered how freaked out he had been earlier that day. He felt like everything was going down the hill, before anything really happened. But then Will had spoken to him with this gentle voice.

Nico remembered Callie also using that voice on him, whenever Nico backed away from her. The first time he had heard that voice, had been the first time Callie had tried to touch Nico. He had jumped away from her hand, almost immediately. She had just tried to brush a strand of hair, out of his face. But of course, Nico had to panic at the innocent action.

He hated that. It was getting better. Meanwhile Nico even let other people come near him, or even touch his arms and shoulders. But he was freaking out about the tiniest things, that went over that. Which was pathetic, but still left him no space to breath.

 _Will_ , Nico thought.

No, he could not just wake him up in the middle of the night, and annoy him with his panic attack.

Nico felt his breath gaining speed, until it turned into desperate gasping for air. His hands were trembling and he tried to roll himself together, to a ball. But the trembling and shaking did not stop.

Flames. Slowly surrounding him, like snakes hunting down their prey.

The room was getting hot, and the air was getting thin. It was getting harder to breath by the second.

All the people staring blankly at him, as if Nico had lost his mind.

"Why is no one helping her? Why is no one going in to find Bianca?", he heard himself shout, until he only whispered the words because the anesthetic started to work on him.

Suddenly Nico felt something approach to him, Jason had tried to make go away, by soothingly holding Nico night after night. But it returned, as soon as Nico couldn't bear it all anymore. So he did the one thing, he had sworn himself, he would never do again. Nico screamed out in pain.

/O.o_

Will was sharply awoken, by a horrifying sound, coming from Nico's bedroom. He jumped out of bed, immediately, and made his way to said bedroom. Will didn't remember when it was, that he ran that fast. But it didn't matter. That sound he had just heard... was the most terrifying thing he had ever experienced in his life.

Well he was only twelve, but still.

As soon as he approached the door, he pushed it open, without thinking. And as he saw Nico, all curled up and whimpering in pain, Will could have sworn, he heard his heart break in two.

The smaller boy probably hadn't noticed Will stepping inside his room.

He was clenching at his dark hair, as if he was trying to rip something out of his head. Something that was tearing him apart from inside. He looked so... fragile.

Will immediately made his way to the bed were Nico lay. As he arrived the slightly shaking boy, he lay a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey Nico, Buddy, it's okay. I'm here now." Nico looked up. His eyes were dark, almost black now. Glistening with tears, but not quite allowing them to stream down his face.

Will climbed onto the bed, next to Nico, and put his arms around him. He held the smaller boy close and pressed his head against his chest.

Nico may have not liked physical contact, but Will could see it when someone needed to be comforted. And Nico desperately needed that right now. That was confirmed as the raven haired boy slung his arms around Will's waist and his fingers clung onto the fabric of his shirt.

He suddenly felt Nico sobbing against his shoulder. Will held him even tighter and started whispering soothing words to him.

He didn't know how long they had stayed like this, but he sure as hell was relieved when he felt Nico breath on a regular basis again. Everything quieted down and they just lay there, wrapped in each others arms.

Nico had even loosened his grip around Will's waist a bit. Not much, he still held him close to his body, but not any longer, as if his life depended on it.

He had his face buried deep in the crook of Will's neck, as he mumbled something that Will couldn't quite understand.

"What was that?", he asked softly.

"This is all my fault.", Nico repeated. "All this mess, just because of me." Will did not understand what Nico meant.

"What is your fault, Nico?", Will tried again. Being careful not to push the younger boy into telling him something, he wanted to keep to himself. He let a breath out, he didn't he was holding, when Nico started talking.

"Callie and Kevin may have told you, that there had been a fire at the place I lived with my sister Bianca." Nico stopped for a moment, as if only mentioning his sister's name, was painfully tearing him apart. Yes. Will had heard about the fire and Nico having a sister, which had died in it. He thought about saying something to calm the boy in his arms down a little, but before he had the chance, Nico continued;

"After the fire, we were send to another home for children without parents. That means my best friend Jason... and me." Will had the feeling that Nico was letting out an important part of the story, but didn't bother to ask about it, since it may have scared the kid away. "I had nightmares from the first night on. About how... people would come out of the burning building, one after one, just not Bianca. At first it was like it happened. I dreamed about how I would scream and try to get into the house, to search for Bianca. I didn't really see or care about anything, I just wanted to get in there to find her. The only thing I felt were Jason's arms, as he was holding me back. He's two years older and at least a head bigger than me. I never stood a chance of getting out of his grip. But that hadn't stopped me from trying. The next thing I could feel was how one of the medics gave me some sedative to calm me down.

The nightmares continued, and so did the chance of scenario. Every time I dream, I get a little further into the building, a little further into rescuing my sister. But never entirely. Jason was a good friend. He sneaked into my bed. First only when I had a nightmare, but then it started to happen more often and he just came by night after night. I thought they were starting to leave, when a new kid arrived. His name was Michael. He said he could talk to the dead.

It was strange, but it also made me curious. What if I had the chance to talk to Bianca again? So that's what I asked him for. And what happened next... it was just awful. It was as if something was taking over his body. Suddenly he was behaving like an entirely different person. His eyes were... dead."

At that, Will shuddered. This kid was only eleven. How was it that he had to suffer like that? And much to his displease, the story hadn't ended just yet.

"I asked about my sister again, and he turned to look at me. First he looked confused, as if he didn't know who I was. But then he started smirking down at me and said that she didn't want to see me. I didn't quite understand what he meant, so went again. He told me that she had left the dead's place, so she wouldn't have to bother with me anymore. He told me that the fire had been my fault. That her death was on me and that I had a... cursed soul. That... – that everyone I loved, and who loved me back, would die... because of me."

Nico stammered the last sentence out. Seeing him like that made Will angry. Like really angry. How could some... idiot tell Nico that he was cursed. That he couldn't love anyone, or be loved in return.

"That's not true Nico.", he said.

Nico was looking at him with wide, questioning eyes.

"It's not true, that you are cursed. It wasn't your fault that there was a fire. Your sister's death was an accident and there was noting you could have done about this. You are a good person Nico. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

Will stared into Nico's eyes intensely. He could see how the younger boy didn't believe him. But he could also see something flicker in these dark brown eyes. Something inside Nico was remaining hope after all. And Will was willing to prove just how good of a person Nico actually was.

Nico broke the gaze. Will couldn't properly see it, but it looked as if he was blushing.

"Would you...", started Nico and took a shaky breath. "Would you mind staying with me?", he asked a little scared, Will might say no.

"Of course I'm going to stay with you. I'm gonna be there for you, as long as you need me Nico. And never dare to hesitate asking, because this is important to me, okay? You are important to me." Will's gaze was strong and concentrated.

Nico muttered a "thank you Will" before snuggling up to Will's chest and burying his face in his shirt.

"Good night Nico.", he whispered, before kissing the Italian's forehead and falling asleep as he held Nico close.


	5. In the city that we loved

It was in the middle of January. Nico was fifteen now and in his second year of High school. He still lived with Callie, Kevin and Will. And, against the high expectations of Will's Aunt Agatha, he hadn't tried to run once.

He even managed to make a couple of friends in school, which would have made Will really happy, if only Nico's current boyfriend Clint wouldn't have been one of them.

Will really hated that guy. He was the typical jock. Rude, arrogant, dumb and beating people up just for fun. But the worst thing about him was that he was staying faithful to Nico.

Why that was a problem you ask? Well for once, that meant that he was around Nico 24/7. The second thing was that that meant he was super overprotective and Nico couldn't sleep in Will's room anymore because he felt like cheating on his oh so wonderful boyfriend. And the third, and to Will most disgusting reason to think about was, that the asshole who dated his little brother was seventeen and if he wasn't letting out his needs anywhere, he would try to get Nico to sleep with him at one point or another. And that was something Will definitely wouldn't let happen.

But then again. What was he exactly going to so about it? He was only Nico's brother to him, and nothing more. And Nico seemed to be happy with Clint... so if this guy was treating Nico right, then Will would just swallow down the lump in his throat and let them be.

"So about your birthday next week..."

With that words Nico laid his history book down and looked at his boyfriend.

"What about it?", he asked knowing exactly where this was leading and feeling guilty for it.

"I thought that maybe we could go to the city and have dinner in a nice french restaurant I know."

He shifted from where he was sitting on his bed and laid down his hand on Nico's upper thigh.

 _Too close_ , he thought to himself, but swallowed it down. He hated it when Clint came too close.

"And maybe later, after we celebrated a little bit, we could" he leaned in even closer and attached his lips to Nico's neck to form a little mark. "spend the night in a hotel together," another kiss that made Nico tremble in a not very positive way. "and you now, celebrate some more."

Clint pushed Nico down so he was laying on his back and climbed on top of him, peppering his throat with kisses.

"Mmm, what do you say?"

Nico wanted to respond, but his voice was stuck when Clint's cold hands suddenly were under his shirt, roaming as if Nico's body was his anyways.

"Wouldn't you like that?", he asked. "You and me, all alone. In a room all to our self, where you can be as loud as you want to be, while I make you scream my name."

Nico felt sick.

"And with a bed, big enough to make a mess out of you all night long."

Nico knew that this 'dirty talk' was supposed to make him feel hot, but he rather felt like throwing up.

Eventually he managed to snake his hands between their bodies and tried to push his _boyfriend_ away from him.

"Clint, wait a minute.", he tried. But to no avail, he was only being pushed more into the mattress.

"Clint.", he tried again, Clint's fingers had reached one of his nipples and the kisses on his throat had started to turn into painful bites.

He could feel how tears were beginning to form in his eyes, as Clint dug his fingernails into Nico's side. This was all so painful.

"I'll do it. Fine, you won. We can stay at the hotel if you want to, but please stop. Just stop it right now."

Finally Clint let go of him and Nico was able to properly breathe again.

"Right, wouldn't want to spoil the surprise."

"Yeah, ehm. I gotta go home, see you in school tomorrow." Nico jumped off the bed and grabbed his things, ready to leave this awful place. But that would have been to easy, of course.

He could feel Clint's filthy hands on him before he even had a chance to escape.

"Wait a moment, don't you forget something?"

Nico lowered his gaze. No he didn't, even though he wished he did. But that was what always happened when Clint somehow got his hands on Nico. He got hot and bothered and Nico had to help with that.

So he climbed on Clint's lap, as usual, and started to kiss down his throat as his hand found their way under Nico's shirt once again.

He shifted his hips and could already feel his hard on pressing against him. Everything about this seemed wrong. Nico again felt the urge of throwing up right then and there. But it wasn't like he hadn't done this before, and he knew what would happen if he didn't do this now. So he just closed his eyes and imagined that it wouldn't be Clint he had to suck off.

So it was the image of warm, sky blue eyes and messy blond hair that he held in his mind, as he slithered down to his knees. Even though he knew he didn't deserve that.


	6. Great clouds roll over the hills

It was a little past 9 p.m. When Nico got home from Clint's house. And Will just couldn't stop thinking about what could have token him so long, that only came home now. Even thought it wasn't his issue. Even thought it was killing him inside.

"Hey", he tried when Nico went past the kitchen. He looked tired and pale. Not in a way you looked tired, because you stayed up late so you could finish your homework, but in a way like you were just plain tired of life itself and just kept getting on because it didn't really matter. Tired in a hopeless way, that made Will's heart break, every time Nico got home from Clint.

"Hi", Nico responded in an awkward way. He stood in the doorway a little unsure whether he should come in or head upstairs, into his room. So Will took a glass out of the cupboard, filled it with coke and held it in Nico's direction. For a moment he thought the younger boy was going to decline the drink and let Will stand there like an idiot. But fortunately he let his bag down and stepped into the room, taking the glass from Will and leaning against the counter.

"How's it going.", Will asked to overcome the awkward silence that was spreading itself out over the kitchen.

"Uhm fine, I guess. And, um, with you?" It was very obvious to Will, that Nico already regretted stepping into the kitchen. Since the start of this school year things between the two of them had become pretty difficult. Before, they wouldn't even miss telling the other stupid things like how Nico thought apple flavored lollipops should be labeled as fruits so Callie would allow him to eat more than one per day. Or how Will thought windows should be round because they were to edgy in his opinion, and someone could get hurt because of that.

Will sometimes wondered what had changed. He felt like all of the pieces were right in front of him and he just couldn't get them in the right order to complete the picture.

"Yeah, same.", Will said. "How's school and stuff?" Will also would've found this whole situation completely awkward if he hadn't been utterly giddy because Nico was finally talking to him again.

"Fine..." Nico paused for a moment, most likely deciding whether he should say more or just shut up. Will tried to hide his little smile when Nico decided to do the first thing. "Mrs. Moore says I'm one of her best students in english literature." Even thought he tried to hide it this time, the corners of Nico's lips twitched slightly upwards while he talked. Will remembered how proud Nico could be about things he would manage himself.

"Sounds great. And how are things going with coach Hedge?" Will shouldn't have asked this question. He wanted to slap himself in the face because he Really. Shouldn't. Have. Asked. This. Fucking. Question.

As expected Nico's muscled tightened and Will could almost see how the door that Nico had slightly opened to maybe let Will into his life a little bit again closed itself and was being locked with at least two traps so no one could secretly sneak in. Almost. But it didn't happen. The door didn't close entirely.

"He's been nicer to me since I got together with Clint. Says I had a good influence on him... and his way of playing."

Suddenly the room became quiet again, in a slightly depressing way of silence.

"Is he good to you?", Will asked out of nothing.

Nico seemed surprised about his question. He opened his mouth to say something, but seemed to think otherwise and sipped at his coke instead.

Will remained silent as he watched the smaller boy avoid his gaze.

"We're going to the city this Saturday. Celebrating my sixteenth birthday. He's gonna take me out for dinner and..."

Even thought Nico had let go of his drink, he gulped as if the words were struck in his throat, and he forcefully tried to get them out. Will really wanted to now what _and_ exactly was. But he didn't ask. For one, because he was scared to actually know, and for second because Nico had to be ready to tell him. If it was really as painful as it looked, then Will wasn't going to pressure him.

"...and after that we're gonna stay over at a hotel.", Nico finally finished his sentence.

Oh no. _Oh FUCKING HELL NO._

Enough was enough. He'd been wasting months of telling himself how Nico was happy with Clint. And how he would respect Nico's choices because he sure knew what he was doing.

But to hell with that.

It was so obvious how Nico was suffering from this whole _relationship thing_ or whatever that was. Clint wasn't a good guy. As much as Will told that himself in hope that he would believe it one day and just let Nico happy. But that had been _before_ he'd seen Nico spit out how he and Clint were staying at a hotel in pain.

This wasn't anymore about the fact that Will had no say in this because he was Nico's brother. He didn't fucking care. He was gonna say something about this. And he was gonna say it NOW.

"You can't be serious!" He knew that he had nearly shouted it, but at this point he didn't seem to care. "How could you ever let a disgusting piece of trash like Clint lay his hands on you. How could you possibly ever want to have sex with such a cruel human being."

"Psht Will, don't be so loud." Nico looked panicked. Of course he was. Their parents were home.

"Oh, so you don't want our lovely parents to know about you're plans to give yourself too an asshole that only uses you for your body?"

"Don't say that. He doesn't just use me for my body.", Nico whispered, his gaze locking with the floor underneath his shoes.

That should have stopped Will in being this harsh, but it didn't.

"So what? You really think he would spend his time with you, take you out to fancy dates and keep you as his puppy all this time because he loves you? Wake up Nico, he doesn't. He doesn't even know what love is. He's just a rapist and you are dumb enough to let yourself be used as his victim. You deserve better than that."

At that, something snapped inside of Nico and the dark haired boy got angry himself.

"Don't you fucking dare saying shit like that William. You don't know what I deserve and what not. Get down your shit-ass high horse. As if you knew what fucking love was."

"I know what fucking love is, thank you very much." They were both shouting at this point, and Will wondered how his parents hadn't heard them until now.  
"Oh really? Then would you mind to educate me on the highness of how the fuck you of all people would know that. You hadn't been with anyone since I got here. I haven't ever seen you with anyone else than Cecil and Lou-Ellen. So tell me: How the hell would you of all people know what fucking love is?"

"Because I love you, you fucking moron. I know it because I've been in love with you ever since the night you got here and I had to come into your room to keep you from a panic attack. I've been in-fuckin-love with you since almost four years! That's how I fucking know!"

The world fell silent.

H-he hadn't meant to say that. He hadn't meant to say anything like that. Oh shit. Why the hell did he say that?

Nico looked utterly terrified. His dark eyes were wide and he was starring directly at Will. There was still anger inside of him, Will could see that. But there was also something else. Confusion? Shock? ...relief? Whatever it was, it was something that Nico couldn't deal with, so he lowered his gaze.

"Don't say that.", he whispered. "Please don't say something like that." His voice broke at the last part and Will could almost taste the salt of Nico's tears as they were forming.

Nico felt them coming too, so he turned around and made himself ready to head out of the room and lock himself in his room.

But before he was out the door, Will caught his wrist and pulled him back with everything he had.

Nico was so near. The tip of his nose was almost directly under Will's, their foreheads touching, and for the first time in what felt like forever, could Will tell, that there were no walls between them at all. They stood there all uncovered and with open hearts. Clear for the other to see. Will was desperate. Nico just _had_ to see.

"Please. Don't go out with Clint on Saturday. Don't let him do that to you. Please don't give yourself to him like that."

"I have to." Nico closed his eyes. In that moment he looked like a soldier. Defeated, with all his faith lost, but still a soldier, desperately keeping to fight, even if he didn't know what he was fighting for anymore.

"No. No you don't." Will reached out to hold the sides of Nico's face, grasping his fingers through the dark hair, like he was afraid Nico would go away and leave him behind once again. Nico opened his eyes at the touch."You deserve so much better than that. You deserve so much more than this douche could ever give you. _Please_ Nico, please leave him and come back to me. Let me be the one to give you all the incredible things you deserve. I'm begging you Nico, tell me you love me too and give me a chance to make you happy."

For a minute all you could hear was the harsh sound of soft breaths being exchanged. Will wondered how something so innocent and romantic could sound like something so absolutely violent at the same time. Not the air that was vibrating between their faces, but the knife, silence stabbed into his heart with every passing second that Nico didn't respond. It was bleeding and Will thought he could never feel a pain like this again.

Suddenly the younger boy shakily inhaled and all of Will's senses were suddenly turned on to their limit.

And his world broke apart when Nico shook his head.

"I can't." He freed himself out of the grasp. "We've had this conversation and I-I just can't." He turned around and went, leaving Will all alone with the realization how wrong he'd been.

Will's heart wasn't bleeding. It was ripped into a million pieces, and Will did not have the strength to pick them up.


	7. But if you close your eyes

It was Saturday. It had come. The big day. Nico's Birthday.

Except that Nico really didn't feel that great about it.

Well that wasn't all the truth. Until now the day had been quite great. Cal and Kev had really done everything to make this day enjoyable for Nico. They had gotten him presents and a cake with little sugar-skeletons making out the numer "16". Callie had even called aunt Agatha and told her that they had all caught the flu, so she wouldn't come over to celebrate with them. So yeah, the day had been pretty awesome. The only thing freaking Nico out was his date with Clint. Where he was driving to. Well Clint was driving. Nico was just sitting besides him, trying not to freak out about the date. Which he was completely failing at.

Well honestly it wasn't really the date itself, that was biting on Nico's nerves, since him going out with Clint today wasn't anything knew to him. I mean... he had agreed to that days ago. So yeah, there was that. Nico had already... well not actually befriended this fact but more... accepted his faith? Yes that was a really good way to phrase it. So it was like always. Clint wanted to do something with Nico and Nico accepted it. He wouldn't exactly appreciate it, but over the years Nico had learnt to swallow his pride pretty well. He thought this evenig would go just the same way as the evening had, when Clint had first demanded him to suck him off. Freaking out wouldn't help him, so he would just calm the fuck down and get over it as quick as possible, since he didn't exactly have a choice anyway.

But something about this... something felt entirely different. They weren't just talking about lousy favours to get them off. This was about sex _._ Real actual fucking _sex._ as in _sexual intercourse._ As in there would be _someone's dick inside of him._

But what scared him about this, wasn't the idea of having sex. It was the idea of him having sex with someone like Clint while he could be having sex with...

NO!

He couldn't let his mind wander to that point. Not now. Not ever. That was no possibility. At all.

...

 _But the way his eyes had shone when he'd told you that he loves you._

No!

 _But he sure would be an unbelievably gentle lover._

No?

 _But you sure wouldn't mind to find out._

Well that was a point Nico couldn't really deny to himself.

"Are you as excited as I am?", he suddenly heard Clint's heavy voice besides him.

"Yeah, totally.", he lied.

The time was over pretty quick, until they arrived at the restaurant. It was a pretty restaurant. Heavily decorated with flowers standing in every corner you would find. Giving the room a romantic touch.

How ironic that the only thing Nico felt like was throwing up when he saw it. Nico wasn't exactly one for red roses and all the other cheesy stuff. It didn't feel honest to him. Just like a fassade of pink and fluff where people could hide their real feelings behind but still get everything they wanted. To him it felt like a way of manipulating others and taking everything out of them, without them minding, since they still had their flowers and oversized teddy bears to hold on to.

A young waiter brought them to their table. It was the same waiter who would take their orders and bring them their food later. In a nutshell the evening really hadn't been that special. Just Them, really good pasta and flashbacks of WIll standing in the kitchen and shouting at Nico how much he loved him, taking in his mind over and over again.

An other thing freaking him out, was Clint's enourmus hand, creeping it's way up Nico's leg sometimes throughout the evening.

He thought about how all of this had started a few months ago. How he had one day woken up in Will's bed and thought that this needed to stop. How he had needed love with all his body and soul, but also knew that he was taking it all from the illusion that Will would maybe return his feelings some day. Which had seemed so utterly impossible to him at that time.

Will? His Will? Whom he thought to see him as nothing but his little brother? Yeah, sure. Maybe in his dreams. The only thing, that happened was Nico slowly ruining his life. He remembered how when he'd been little, this one guy had told him that he was cursed. Well of course Nico had grown up and knew that he wasn't really cursed or anything. But on the other hand he felt as if he... kind of was. It was hard to explain but throughout the years Nico had more and more felt as if he had... a bad influence on people. Not exactly on their way of acting, but more on their lifes. And especially on Will's.

He had tried so desperately to get away from him. But it'd been so hard. Like how could he expect to stay away from the only thing that brought him light and happiness?

Weeks had passed, in which he had tried to get a little distance between Will and himself. But to no awail.

And that's where Clint came to hand. At this time, Clint had seemed like a really great guy. Not that that would have meant anything, since Nico didn't like interacting with humans at all. But for Will he would try. So long story short, Nico used Clint to actually have a reason to stay away from WIll.

And just to make things clear, even thought he'd seemed like a really nice guy in the beginning, he'd never really loved Clint, but he'd been willing to learn it. Which didn't seem all too hard, until the touching had started. He'd already had to somehow get over the physical contact of kissing, but when Clint had started getting his hands under Nico's shirt a few weeks after they'd started dating, he realised how much harder this would get than he'd imagined.

But how he'd said, Nico wasn't exactly a person, who couldn't swallow their pride, so he kept going on. Slowly dissociating himself from Will and telling himself that it was for their best. Keeping himself going by reminding himself constantly, that Will didn't love him. Wouldn't ever be able to.

So when Will's dam had broken a few days ago all Nico could think at that moment was: "Well, fucking plottwist." And for a moment he even considered giving in and telling Will that he loved him too. But at this point in their relationship Nico's ego wouldn't allow that. Wouldn't allow that Nico had made such a great mistake, over all this time. Over months!

No, at this point Nico had had left a road too long behind him. Had given up too much of himself on his way of saving Will, while the only thing he'd actually done was killing himself slowly.

Eventually they left the restaurant and drove to the hotel. At some point they stopped and got out of the car. Everything felt so surreal to him. As if it didn't really happen. As if it didn't actually count.

Throughout their way Nico thought about the past months. About all the mistakes he had made. All the little things he had simply overlooked.

Clint opened the door and let them in. He led Nico to the bed and opened his bag. Most definitely searching for a condom, Nico thought. And his guess was confirmed, when Clint came back and sat beside him with exactly that in his hand.

He looked into Nico's eyes and asked: "Are you ready?"

And that was the moment it accured to him. That was the moment Nico found the one missing piece in this horrible nightmare. Yes, he could blame Clint for everything, call him a rapist and what not. But the thing was that Clint never actually crossed a line. Well he did, but he never knew he was doing so, since Nico had never said the one mattering word. No.

Troughout all these months Nico had not once actually said no. Had not once actually thought about him having a choice. But he did have one. In fact it was Nico's life. It was all his choice. He just had to really think about what he wanted. So he did just that.

For once think about, if he really wanted this.

So he looked Clint dead in the eyes and put on the most honest voice he could manage.

"No.", he said. "I'm not."

That was obviously not what Clint had expected to hear, since he looked like a fish thrown out of the water.

"I-I don't understand.", he said.

"Look Clint, I don't want this. I know I've never told you this but... if I'm being honest, I don't want any of this. I don't want roses all over a fancy restaurant and a waiter with a cute italian accent. And neither do I want a romantic hotel room with chocolate on the pillows. And you know why? Because we both know that it's a lie. That none of this is real to any of us. You just want a pet to have yourself satisfied while all I'm seeking for is to feel loved and I think that deep down we both know that."

Maybe his words should have hurt. But somehow Nico didn't have any of it. He was tired of always being the victim of every damn situation. He was tired of all the drama and broken hearts. And most of all he was tired of waiting until things turned out the way he wanted them to. Because they never did. If he wanted something he had to achieve it himself. He had to do something for it. And he was willing to do just that.

"So you mean... that you don't want so sleep with me. Or be with me, while we're being at it." Clint sounded rather confused than anything else.

"Yeah, that's what I'm saying."

"Well, uh, okay. I guess. Why didn't you say so?"

"I don't know to be honest. I just never really thought it would matter. Are you angry about that?"

He looked at Clint while he seemed to think about Nico's question. "No, not really. A little confused and maybe a little hurt. But not really angry. I think I kinda knew something was wrong. I just don't really know what to do whit the room now we've kinda... broken up."

"You know, you should maybe call Dave. I think he wouldn't mind to keep you company. But a little advice; don't go at it to fast. Take a little time before you try something... sexual."

"Yeah sure. That actually sounds pretty reasonable. Do you need a drive home?"

"Nah, I think I'm good. I'll find someone to drive me. Bye Clint, I'm sorry that I've wasted your weekend."

"It' fine, I should have been a little more... you know. Enjoy the rest of your birthday, I guess."

"Thanks."

And with that Nico took his backpack and left the hotel room. On his way downstairs he thought about how the whole evening had gone, while constantly fidgeting with his phone. Had he really just broken up with Clint? No drama? No tears? No shouting? Well okay, Nico knew that Clint wasn't exactly a bad guy. With some things he was just a little... over passionate.

It was at the parking lot where he unlocked his phone and typed a number he knew by heart.

He had to wait a few seconds before a familiar voice greated him in surprise.

"Uhm hey Nico. What do you need?"

"Hey Will, could you come and pick me up?"


End file.
